When the iPad met Yo Momma…

Yo mama is so fat, she uses an iPad as an iPhone…

This introduction into the classic joke society should ensure that Apple’s iPad gains a mention that perhaps outlives it’s own life…

Until next time, may peace be upon you all,

*Mohammed Ali

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Update January 2010

Good day people!

How are we all? Who’s still keeping to their new year resolutions? We’re only 4 weeks into the new year!

If you have, fantastic! If you haven’t, why does it have to be a “new year” resolution? Do you really want to wait another year to try again?

Why not break your resolution down into a smaller bits and try, try and try again?! With plenty of small rewards on the way!!

Anyway, I’ve had quite a bit of mail from people asking why I haven’t posted anything in 2010…

Well it’s a 2 fold answer really;

1. I haven’t used a PC for over a month now, as I was experimenting with myself by brainstorming without the internet… to see if this generates any original or “purer” ideas… I thought that sometimes, with constant internet access, you become accustomed to a certain way of thinking, and I just wanted to wander outside the box.

2. My knowledge and interests have GREATLY widened in the last 3 to 4 weeks, and I am in the process of working through a few projects as well as a new structure/content for the blog… I am promising you

MORE ARTICLES ON ENTREPRENEURSHIP

MORE ARTICLES ON THE BIGGEST COMPANIES

MORE ARTICLES ON THE BIGGEST SOCIAL AND MARKETING MATTERS

MORE ARTICLES ON MEDIA TODAY

MORE ARTICLES ON SELF DEVELOPMENT

I’m also going to try and avoid politics, religion and football unless marketing orientated, as I know these are very personal issues to people.

So there you go, my promise is there in writing. Expect articles on Nokia, The English Football Premier League and the IPA in the coming weeks, and we’ll take it from there…

And look out for an exciting new project to be announced for all those with an inner creative beast who has been all but suppressed in the past few years… It’s time to unleash your creative beast!!

Until next time, may peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

British Troops are TWICE as likely to die in road accidents than civilians…

Now here is an interesting fact I’ve come across…

British Troops TWICE as likely to die in road accidents than civilians…

But how can this be?

These highly trained beacons of strength, resilience and courage have been through and survived wars… how can they possibly overcome war, yet fall to such relatively pedestrian means…

Well the situation can be attributed to a number of factors:

> The troops are highly trained individuals in fast paced vehicle usage under extreme conditions.

> The troops may have been deployed in areas with little or no restrictions or laws of public road usage, perhaps in areas without the provision of public roads as we know it.

> The troops have built an air of “invincibility” around themselves, as they have faced direct death threats on the battle field, so therefore see road usage as relatively low in terms of threat to life.

The British Army commissioned UK Marketing Services Agency Golley Slater to try to understand and change the attitudes that returning service personnel have when they return to the UK.

Golley Slater used two outlooks to challenge this attitude:

1. The impact to the family of the returning soldier: By highlighting that the returning soldier’s risk taking actions does not affect just them, but also their family as they wait for them to return home.

2. The emergency services: This is used as a profile based account from an emergency services worker who outlines that they know the accident is waiting to occur to the soldier and are waiting to clean up the mess.

The anatomy of the advertisements:

The advertisements show the journey of a solider returning home from the army base.

Golley Slater used a motorbike as the mode of transport of the soldiers in their advertisements to encompass the risk taking mentality of the soldiers. Throughout their advertisements the soldier is seen undertaking risky manoeuvres with the motorcycle as they leave their bases to return home.

Family Advert

In the advert highlighting the impact of the soldiers risky behaviour on their family uses a very interesting twin story of the soldiers journey and the family’s behaviour as they wait for the soldier to come home.

What I find interesting here is the metaphoric expression of the impact of the motor crash and how the family’s house becomes destroyed. Soldiers have two main emotive priorities in their duties. One is to their country and the other is to their worried family. Their death could destroy the lives (homes) of their family.

The advert produces a rather dramatic and power graphic portrayal of this impact.

Emergency Services Advert

In the second advertisement, Golley Slater used a very interesting scenario and choice of language to get the message across.

They again use the concurrent storyline theme to show the returning soldiers journey home…  This time coupled with an emergency services operations in attending a traffic accident theme.

However although the emergency services team are deployed and ready there does not seem to be an accident that they are attending. They are just waiting around on the motorway.

As the soldiers journey unfolds and they undertake more risky manoeuvres on their motorbike, a strong crash occurs and the soldier’s body and bike lands right in the middle of the waiting emergency services team.

They go about dealing with the wreckage.

Wordplay:

As the emergency services deal with the wreckage a message flashes across the screen…

…Informing the soldiers that they are an accident waiting to happen…

…British troops are twice as likely to die in road accidents as “civvies”…

…and they might me tough, but not invincible…

The term “civvies” is used as this is the term the army uses to refer to civilians. This creates a more targeted and intimate message that the soldiers know is intended for them.

In their poster campaigns a portrait of a waiting emergency services person is used, with the message:

You’re an accident waiting to happen

So we’re just killing time until you arrive.

Golley Slater have used the word “killing” to accentuate and contextualize that the accidents soldiers have on UK roads can result in death. There is also a sense of inevitability in the tone of the message, highlighting that the message is based on previous experiences.

This mixture of emotive and interlinked, beyond the self, messages has a challenging undertone to it too. It seems to be challenging the soldiers to buck the trend of inevitability and prove the advert wrong. This is probably used because Golley Slater know that Army personnel are attuned to overcoming challenges and will respond positively to such a challenge.

The results:

Golley Slater outline that the outcome of the campaign has changed driving attitudes within the Army and saved 18 lives to date.

The campaign achieved Gold at the prestigious Cannes Lions Awards and goes to show the impact you can have when you understand your target market and tailor your message content and delivery to capture their attention and persuade them to change their attitudes and thus their actions.

Until next time, may peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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I’d like to live long enough…

…to see the DFS sale end!

 

 

They always say “The sale must end on Sunday” or “The sale must end soon”…

But which Sunday and/or when is soon?!

Does the DFS Sale EVER end?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Until next time, may peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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The Enterpriser vs. The Entrepreneur

Please note: The term “Enterpriser” is not officially recognized in the English language, but for the purposes of this article it is used to describe someone who begins a business/enterprise in a certain mindset. This is used to compare the mindset with that of an entrepreneur. All will become clearer as you read the article.)

Over the years, many people who are employed will have the “employee seizure”, decide enough is enough, sack the boss and decide to start their own business.

But…

What is their goal?

Their ambition?

Their mindset?

Do they want to create just another job for themselves? Do they want to change the world? Do they want to be financially free?

The outcome will depend on whether you are an enterpriser or an entrepreneur.

What’s the difference between an ENTERPRISER and an ENTREPRENEUR?

Well let’s start by looking at what both words have in common with each other.

They are both the most OVER- and MIS- used words in business.

And that’s where the similarities stop.

Allow me to use an anecdote to illustrate what I mean.

I have a friend who “fired the boss” a few years ago, and set up his own car repair garage.

“I’m going to be free now Mo.” He told me…

“Free from the boss, free to choose my own working time, free to make my own money, free to do it my way… I’m going to be rich and have people working for me…”

I went to visit him recently, to see how he was getting on…

I found him in his portacabin office, hidden deep inside his Garage in Lambeth, London. He looked stressed, behind mountains of paper work, he was working out his VAT returns.

Not much work was happening on the garage front either, I caught sight of the painter having a cigarette and a cup of tea, talking into his mobile phone.

“Mo, this is so bloody stressful!” He told me, his bleary eyes confirming the sincerity of his words.

“I bloody hate this… I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!!!”

“Why?” I was shocked, as I know he is a great mechanic and a positive guy!

“I spend all my time in here, doing bloody paper work!! I have no time to do what I love, fix cars! It’s like I’ve been castrated!”

 

“WHOA! Easy there!!” No man is comfortable when the subject of castration is brought up!

That is when I began to realise something… The very thing that was supposed to set him free… had in actual fact locked him up and thrown away the key. When he went to unlock the garage in the morning, it was like he was voluntarily locking himself into his own prison cell.

He could no longer do what he loved, because of his “employee” mentality… He had just made another job for himself…

He was an enterpriser.

An enterpriser is someone who sets up a business, but he is also THE business. The business is so over reliant on him, that he cannot run the business, he is too busy trying to keep the business afloat by trying to do EVERYTHING in the business.

In short, the business would fall apart if he was to even be away for a day…

The enterprisers business is solely (and fatally) DEPENDENT on them… It could not function without them…

But what about the entrepreneur?

What makes them so special? So successful?

Entrepeneurs BUILD businesses. Like vehicles. They bring it all together, all the parts, they hire people to do the finances, hire people to do the labour, hire people to run the business day-to-day, whilst they focus on the over arching business strategy and direction.

In short, the business can run INDEPENDENT of them. If they were to disappear tomorrow, the business will keep running…

How do they do this?

That’s a whole book in itself, but in short, there are 3 key attributes…

PLANNING

SYSTEMS

and RESOURCEFULNESS

> Planning

Before firing the boss, the entrepreneur will plan. Plan how the business will be put together, who and what is needed, and what can be afforded. If something is needed, that cannot be afforded, then a way to do that function will be found. Further planning needs to be done on your idea too. Are you just making another job for yourself, or is there a real market for your business? How are you going to get to that market?

> Systems

By implementing systems, or a way of doing things, the business can have a standardised way of doing things. A way that can be taught to somebody else. A way that is not over reliant on one particular person. Look at McDonalds… they make burgers ALL over the world… but there’s a set system on how they make it… It means a vast array of different people, from all over the world, can be hired and trained, and will produce the EXACT same burger regardless of what continent you are in. An added benefit with systems is that you can begin to quantify the cost and value of your business functions, and look to maximise their value by tweaking the systems.

> Resourcefulness

How good are you at obtaining the full value of a resource?

Resources are EVERYWHERE!

There is never a shortage of money, people and capital.  Ever. Full stop.

There is just a shortage of leaders who can be trusted to use them effectively.

If you cannot afford to hire an accountant, then can you outsource it? No? Can you sell the dream to a friend or acquaintance who is an accountant to forgo a short-term benefit, in view of a much higher long-term benefit? This will be absolutely key to the survival and blossoming of your business…

I must stress, this is an extremely SHORT and succinct article on a mammoth and diverse topic, which is only to stimulate and provoke your thought before you start jumping up and down and firing the boss.

I also must add a special mention for a fantastic not-for-profit organization here, called The Entrepreneurs Club (E-Club) who I have been working with for a while now, building my knowledge and pushing my mindset in the Pre Start Up Paradigm of Business. These guys have really helped me mature and liberate my thinking around Business and Entrepreneurship.

Here’s the street interview that first introduced me to E-Club, I hope you get some value from it…

I am in no way affiliated to them in a business sense, but I have been honoured to be invited on aboard their Entrepreneur Mastermind Program, and I have gained real value from it.

Check them out, and drop me a line if you want to discuss this article and it’s contents further…

Until next time, May peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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“Typically large companies hire extraordinary people…

… and force them to do ordinary work… start ups will hire ordinary people… and inspire them to do extraordinary things.”

Until next time, may peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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Ignorance, Manipulation, Naivety and Short Cuts… How a PR agency should NOT do it… Fuel PR caught with their trousers firmly around their ankles…

There was once a time that I was recommended by a friend to look into applying for a “leading independent public relations and strategic
brand building consultancy” called Fuel PR.

Being someone who looks at a companies reputation and previous work before I consider following up a recommendation I did my research…

…and was rather shocked by their ignorance, manipulation, naivety and short-cuts…

Patrick Holford, a self styled “nutritionist”, is debated in scientific circles for his credentials employed Fuel PR to manage his public reputation…

Now, I am not going to delve into this criticism because that is another matter…

What I will look into is how Fuel PR went about trying to improve is public reputation…

Did they try and take on the criticism aimed at Patrick Holford and respond accordingly?

Did they try and engage the critics and work out the crux of their criticism?

Did they try and reposition Patrick Holford to nullify some of the criticism?

Did they even try and justify Patrick Holford’s credentials?

Well… not to what I can see…

What they did try and do, was to manipulate his democratically formed Wikipedia entry to delete the criticism aimed at him… and they have been caught red handed…

On December 22nd 2006 all criticism of Patrick Holford was comprehensively deleted, by a user called “Clarkeola” who had no history on Wikipedia and had no other activity with Wikipedia except for that related to the activity of Patrick Holford and his businesses.

Hmm…

Further investigation showed that “Clarkeola” was based in in Queenstown Road, London…

Hold on a second…

Fuel PR are based in Queenstown Road, London…

and… there is an individual called Stephen Clarke who works for Fuel PR, based in Queenstown Road, London…

Could Stephen Clarke, who is based in Queenstown Road and works on the PR account of Patrick Holford, be the “Clarkeola” user who is based in Queenstown Road and does not tolerate any criticism of Patrick Holford?

Well Wikipedia seem to be convinced and have deleted his account under their “meatpuppet” policy, which it defines as:

“These newly created accounts, or anonymous edits, may be friends of another editor, may be related in some way to the subject of an article under discussion, or may have been solicited by someone to support a specific angle in a debate”. The policy states that these can be dealt with in the same way as “sockpuppet” accounts i.e. indefinite bans. –Robdurbar 10:57, 6 January 2007 (UTC)”

NOTE: It has come to my attention that, at the time of this post, Stephen Clarke is no longer shown on the “Senior Team” page on Fuel PR’s website, so it is unclear of he still works at the company or not…

In this information rich age… you will get caught out for your inadequacy and misdemeanors… so don’t try and take short cuts… look to build a real, credible and engaging reputation.

In the long run, it is much more profitable and much more fulfilling for yourself and your business.

I don’t know how well Fuel PR are doing now… but let me tell you this…

Type in “Fuel PR” into Google and judge for yourself at what you see…

Dr. Ben Goldacre

Credit must be extended to Dr. Ben Goldacre at Bad Science/The Guardian Newspaper for his investigative efforts and expertise on this topic…

Until next time, may peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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Note: I have nothing personal against Fuel PR and wish them all the best… they should take these situations in a positive and constructive manner and learn from them… I have linked to their website everytime I mention them so people can view their site and make an informed opinion.

Welcome to the Democratic Republic of Twitter/Facebook/X-Factor…

Combined Estimated Population (2009)… 360 Million
Facebook (300m)
Twitter (45m)
X-Factor (15m)

Adrian Goodsall, a lecturer of mine, once told me a story of an acquaintance of his who was unhappy at the service he got from a travel agents at his local town (St. Albans, UK) and spent a lot of time protesting outside the travel agent’s premises to vent his feelings.

The impact of his efforts is up for debate, but the time this acquaintance took out of his life was surely a detriment to himself.
However he deemed it necessary as he felt so compelled by the inadequacy of the travel agents that he wanted to share his feelings with others and force the travel agents to sort themselves out.

Today we have a new weapon… social media… where with a few seconds that it takes to post a comment, can be accessed by potentially millions of your fellow population.

Why am I extrapolating the social media “state” to a real world state?

Well…

On Tuesday the 12th of May 2009, Simon Cowell, creator of television talent shows was mocked worldwide for his comments, on the Oprah Winfrey show, about how TV talent shows have the power to transform people’s lives.

“It gives the underdog a shot, and I think it’s brilliant. The fact that we’re allowing the public to make the decisions most of the time is a really good thing.

“The great thing about it is when you start seeing it in places like China and Afghanistan. It’s democracy. We’ve kinda given democracy back to the world.“

Wow… a rather ambitious, if not slightly self -amorous, comments there I hear you say…

But does he have a point?

If we include the population of Twitter and Facebook to the X-Factor social democracy then The Democratic Republic of Twitter/Facebook/X-Factor has a combined population of 360 million people, which in the World Population Table would be the third most populated state, behind China and India and ahead of the USA (Internet World Stats)

We can spend hours and talk about the power of social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter and how you can now instantly influence potentially millions of people with your posts and content… but let’s keep this short and sweet…

In the past fortnight there has been a wave or events that have provoked me to consider the true power of the type of democracy that Mr. Cowell is championing… just three selected at random were…

Waitrose pulls ads from Fox over ‘racist Obama’ row.

Twitter, Trafigura and the future of press injunctions.

Jan Moir: more than 22,000 complain to PCC over Stephen Gately piece.

Each one of these three situations highlights how people are using their newly amplified voices and newly found online “colleagues/allies” to reach a common cause and influence large organizations with comparatively less time and effort than they would have to expend a decade ago.

In the Fox News race fiasco, large businesses listened to their customers amplified disgust about the “racism” that the networks expresses towards US President Barack Obama and pulled their lucrative advertisement deals with the news network. In a capitalist environment will this force Fox News to review their media stance or will it carve out a niche for Fox News and cement their psycho-graphic viewership?

Twitter was used to launch a news gathering and sharing campaign by individuals when the Guardian newspaper was gagged from reporting horrendous business practices by Trafigura. The democratic population took it upon themselves to expose a company who tried to smother any news items about their practices through a “Super Injunction” which is a threat to the democratic free speech.

And…

Jan Moir’s homophobic insinuation brought together not just the the Democratic Republic of Twitter/Facebook/X-Factor but also provoked a wider reaching debate in the UK.

So the morale of this story…

Well it reinforces the importance of businesses and individuals to not just get their houses in order but to also ensure transparency in their dealings and engagement with anyone who has an interest in their business dealings (Stakeholders)…

Those who do this well will survive and provide a platform to prosper…

…those who don’t… will die… very rapid deaths…

Until next time, may peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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Proof that there is no truth in British tabloids anymore…

I’ve just watched a fantastic video on the Guardian’s website about a forthcoming documentary called “StarSuckers“…

StarSuckers Preview + Interview

Director, Chris Atkins describes the basic outline of the documentary; how they managed to sell completely fictitious stories about celebrities, namely Amy Winehouse, to British tabloids which were not checked for authenticity.

These stories were not only published in the UK, but spread as far as respectable Indian broadsheets…

Wow…

Can you imagine someone calling up a tabloid with a completely fictitious story about you… and it making worldwide news…

This supports my views that although we live in an information rich generation… that doesn’t necessarily make the information correct… More than ever, we must take caution in what we see and hear… as the information gateways have opened up to such an extent that we can take nothing on face value…

Keep smart people…

Oh I think this is a good time to bring up a REAL tabloid story from over 6 years ago…

There was once a time, when I was young chap, that I got into a scrap with the band “One True Voice” after a recording of the now defunct RI:SE breakfast show… The presenter at the time Iain Lee urged me to get in touch with the papers…

Mohammed Ali takes on One True Voice

It was in the papers and a few days later it was announced that “One True Voice” had split up…

Coincidence? : ) I take credit for dismantling this horribly dire boy band… : )

Until next time, may peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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Buy One Get One Free… LATER… Genuis!!

I’ve always had a bit of a problem with the seductive yet ultimately empty allure of Buy One Get One Free (BOGOF)…

“Is BOGOF really what it’s cracked up to be?”

“Surely halving the price of the product would be better for consumers because sometimes we don’t want the same thing twice…”

“All those times I have been enticed to buy all those oranges with a BOGOF offer, only to chuck three-quarters of them out a fortnight later…”

BOGOF is like that really beautiful woman winking at you from across the cafe… you look around to see who she could possible be winking at… and you realise it’s you… and you cannot believe your luck… until you notice “her” rather large hands… bulging biceps… prominent Adam’s apple… and a shady stubble around “her” chin…

In short… not quite as good as it looks…

Until I read this beauty…

Tesco updates BOGOF with ‘Buy One Get One Free – Later’ offer to cut wastage…

Now Tesco’s have cracked it!!! Buy One… Get One Free… LATER!!! This sounds fantastic!! Exactly what I needed… Now I can buy 6 oranges for this week… eat them fresh… then pop in next week and buy 6 more fresh oranges… if I feel like having oranges that week…

But…

I began to notice that they are starting to push out the “Green” message of this offer… I can see their point… less consumer waste = good, yes?

Well yea… but they must be careful not to fall foul of the green-washing brigade…

It’s a good move Tesco, don’t get me wrong… but I suspect that there will now be less BOGOF deals… and the way it would be administered to pick up your One Free item might be done on a voucher system or something similar… and all the promotional material and packaging etc. will still add up to a considerable output from Tesco…

And it doesn’t take away from the Air miles that much of the products at Tesco accumulate as they are imported from abroad… In fact demand might even rise for foreign products such as fruit as people will be more likely to want them now…

So yes… good move Tesco… but don’t overplay the “Green” card as it will come back to bite you in this information rich generation…

Until next time… May peace be upon you all…

*Mohammed Ali

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